A Big Decision

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What a hectic, stressful, full on few weeks have just passed. At the end of last school term, I made the decision to leave my husband. In all honesty I had been thinking about this for quite some time and then the final straw came, yep, the one that broke the camel’s back, or my will to keep going in this case. I sought advice from various professionals and made my plans to go. I moved back to Perth with my boys to Mum’s place and that’s where we’ll be for the remainder of the year. Who knows what will come after that, eventually I will move back to the country though, city life is not for me.

I’ve learnt a lot about myself these last few weeks. Firstly, finding out what I can do when I really have to. I have made so many phone calls these last two weeks you wouldn’t believe it. Calling various agencies for assistance, seeking legal advice, making appointments, the list goes on. I’ve even answered an unknown number *gasp*

I’ve also navigated big shopping centres with minimal anxiety. I even surprised myself on this one. I still don’t like them, not by a long way, and neither does my oldest son, but we both managed to do it. The worst part of it is the noise, more than the people. Mind you if there were less people there would also be less noise. Too much sound becomes overwhelming for me, making it difficult to focus on anything, therefore increasing anxiety.

When I left, I also left behind many of my belongings. Being somewhat of a minimalist has turned out to be a good thing in this case. I didn’t have a lot of stuff, and what was left behind were things that can be replaced. There is only a couple of photos that I wish I had remembered but at the end of the day, even though I’d like them, the world isn’t going to end because I don’t have them.

Since moving away from the situation I was in I’ve found my anxiety to have reduced dramatically. It’s like this shadow that was lingering over me has been lifted and I can relax again. I feel calmer, less tense, I’m happier. Even though there is still a lot of stress over certain things, I’m dealing with it ok. I have a lot of support here with my family and friends.

My oldest son who was bullied in his previous school for his choice to grow his hair long, has now made friends with other kids in our street who also go to his new school. It’s so nice to see him playing and interacting with other kids and even better that not one of them cares that he has long hair.

My youngest son who was wetting his pants nearly every day previously, has only had a couple of accidents since we’ve been here, he’s currently on the longest streak he’s ever had of not having an accident.

This move, this whole decision to leave, has been the hardest, most difficult, stressful, anxiety inducing decision I have ever made, but it’s also been one of the best decisions. Seeing the improvement in my own mental health as well as the changes in the boys. I wouldn’t take it back for anything.

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4 thoughts on “A Big Decision

  1. Hello Ali. It’s been so long since you’ve posted, and this is what you left us with–such a big change! I tried messaging you last month and didn’t hear back either. I know you’re going through a lot of positive changes as you’ve described, but also recognize this magnitude of change brings stress and other emotions as well. Just wanted to check in to see if you’re okay? Let us know how you are if you have a chance? XOXO

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